If you saw the first Harry Potter movie you will know exactly what Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans are. Some of the most disgusting, repulsive and horrid flavors ever imaginable jam packed into a tiny little jelly bean. Of course this was a huge marketable item for the Potter franchise and who better to make them than the world renown leaders in jelly bean production, Jelly Belly. Yes, those overpriced beans that everyone loves to receive as gifts. We went through a rather trying time with Bertie Bott’s; the brood loved combining the flavors to make even more repulsive tastes. Suffice it to say, you haven’t lived until you’ve had a Booger and Trout flavor combination.
Jelly Belly Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans
What’s the big deal, they are just jelly beans? Well, if they were just jelly beans they wouldn’t have a huge price tag attached to them and they certainly wouldn’t still be in production. Sure, the 3.5 ounce ‘wizard bag’ isn’t as popular as it once was but it is still an incredible seller. The biggest thing to know about this is that you are only getting twenty select flavors with the pouch version. The last time I counted them up there were over 150 different flavors and when you get into combining them, well, the potential for flavor mixes is endless. The wizards pouch is nice but it isn’t anything that you are going to hang on to unless you are a huge Potter fan.
The 3.5 ounce wizard bags contain twenty flavors but you are not guaranteed to get each and every flavor in the bag; is that clever marketing or what? There is a small fold out on the flavors and it shows a photo of the Every Flavor Bean along with the name. Some of the colors of them are enough to turn your stomach but if you are brave enough to try them, well, I tip my wizards hat to you. The flavors are: Grape, Rotten Egg, Black Pepper, Cinnamon, Booger, Ear Wax, Buttered Popcorn, Earthworm, Grass, Lemon, Sardine, Soap, Bacon, Toasted Marshmallow, Green Apple, Tutti-Fruitti, Very Cherry, Vomit, Blueberry and Dirt.
What are the best and worst flavors? Sometimes you can’t go by just the name of something, the Butter Popcorn wasn’t any real shock since that is one of the old school Jelly Belly flavors. The Lemon, Cinnamon, Blueberry, Tutti-Fruitti and Toasted Marshmallow are the normal run of the mill jelly bean flavors; the true taste is there but they are all a little overly sweet. Green Apple is tart but with a pleasant aftertaste to it, Grass tastes like a mix between lime and some type of industrial hand soap you wash your hands with in a public bathroom and Earthworm tastes like cocoa but very gritty. The brood said it tasted completely different to them so every person is going to have a different “taste interpretation” of them.
If the myriad of flavors in the 3.5 ounce bag is too much for you, you can get this in dedicated flavor selections like the ten flavor pack that includes Boogers, Rotten Egg, Earwax, Dirt and Sardine. Getting them in this format allows you to know what flavors you are actually consuming thanks to the little flavor guide that comes with it. If you want to experience every single flavor, well you are going to have to spend about $49.99 and get the massive four pound container of Bertie Bott’s but the upside is you do get a complete color guide to all the flavors. Some of those include Salmon, Brussel Sprouts, Centipede, Sushi, Worcestershire Sauce, Paprika, Baked Beans, Curry, Frog Legs, Sand, Onion, Toe Nails and Squid. If you want to get the newest flavors you will have to settle for the smaller 1.6 ounce boxes since they are the newest off the production line.
The Bottom Line
So the Bertie Bott’s are too tame for you? Then perhaps you need to check out some of the other gross Potter offerings. Here are some of the Harry Potter candies that are still in production; “Chocolate Frogs”, “Blood Pops”, “Cockroach Clusters’, ‘Acid Pops”, “Jelly Slugs”, “Fizzing Whizbees”, “Cotton Candy Bubble Gum”. The real appeal to the Bertie Bott’s is that there is an unending combination of flavors that you can make with them. If you can get past the flavors on a solo level then you should be able to handle any combination. I was the human guinea pig for several of the broods taste experiments and suffered through it for the sake of science, well, at least that is what they conned in into thinking.
| FLAVOR |
DESCRIPTION |
| Bacon |
This truly did taste like bacon… just sweeter, and a bit gross. This was edible though not tasty. |
| Black Pepper |
This too tasted just like its flavor – just like black pepper you would sprinkle on your food – only sweeter. In fact, the ingredient list includes black pepper. |
| Booger |
I was expecting this to be thoroughly gross but instead it was rather tasteless as far as jellybeans go. I actually kept this one down and didn’t think this was too bad (but it wasn’t good). I’m not sure what that says about me. |
| Dirt |
This one too tasted a lot like dirt. How I know what dirt tastes like, I’m not sure. This one too was edible, but not at all tasty. I did manage to keep it down. |
| Earthworm |
I really wasn’t sure what this one would taste like, not ever having tried to eat an earthworm. I wasn’t surprised though when I had to spit it out after only a few chews. Wow – that was bad. |
| Earwax |
Here’s another that I really had no idea what to expect. I figured it would be bad though. I was right. I gave it a couple chews and out it came. No way was I eating that one. |
| Grass |
I didn’t actually get to try this one. There was only one in the box and my sister-in-law wanted to try it so I let her. She said it did taste a lot like grass and she was able to keep it in and not spit it out. |
| Rotten Egg |
One of the worst smells you can think of, rotten egg is a smell everyone knows and hates. I was expecting this one to be bad, really bad. It was. I think I chewed it once or twice and I had to spit it out. It’s amazing the flavors they can “create”. Wow – I needed some water to get that taste out of my mouth. |
| Sardine |
As I’ve said before, I don’t really like seafood, so I expected this one to be a spitter-outter and I was right. It was awful. It’s uncanny how much it tasted like seafood. YUCK. |
| Soap |
Anyone that’s ever experience a nice bar of soap in their mouths for cussing when they were a child; this flavor will bring back memories, and not good ones. |
| Vomit |
This was the one I was really dreading. I had read on the web somewhere about someone trying this and not being able to get the taste out of their mouth for two days. I fully expected to have to spit this one out, and it was bad, but not so bad I had to spit it out. It did taste like vomit (I can’t believe I’m writing that), it just wasn’t overwhelming enough to make me sick. I guess that’s a good thing. |
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